Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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