Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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