I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
