Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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