I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
