Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
