I'm eating all of the evidence.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
