What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
