there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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