just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
