there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize