i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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