oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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