There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize