I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.