just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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