found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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