..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
