turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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