I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
