someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize