hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She bit a glass in half.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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