How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
