i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
