Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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