Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I love how my cats smell like pot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
