what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
