she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
