i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
