I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
