i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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