there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
