out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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