I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
