Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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