She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
