she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
