My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize