In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
