why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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