mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I need to stop coming to work sober
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
