so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
