Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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