Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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