are you still at the devil's house?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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