similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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