my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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