I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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