So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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