thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize