when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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