What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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