i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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