And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
