'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
