we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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