did you get engaged???
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
