I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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