Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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