there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
