I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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