k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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